Perhaps, no one is perfect in this world, there is always something that bother us; yet if we are all stuck n the same boat of sharing to grow, then why so many members of our group still not sharing anything but taking away from the ones that does? In other words, why so many members are still placing a shield on their faces as not to engage into the therapeutic process of the session, what is there to lose?
It has been nine weeks since we had have embarked in this Journey of risking and learning; and yet, many still reluctant to let themselves go to the next stage, they seems scare of being Judge, of self-disclosing, of deepening their trust; worst of all, they seems scare of Just being on their own skin. I completely understand that is no easy to sit in front of strangers and disclose our deepest though; on the same token, I understand that to be able to foster change in our clients the change has to begin within ourselves. How could one pretend to be a professional helper when he/she is not even true to him/herself?
How to engage the client into the therapeutic process while we are wearing a mask to hide our real self? In class I may be seen as the “storyteller” of the group, I careless. If being true to myself is what is going to take to master the skills of becoming an effective hermeneutic healer, then I am eager to embark in the process. Rorer’s master piece of work, “on becoming a person (1995)”, has teaches me no to focus in what people think or say of me, rather to focus on what really makes me happy and complete, on how can I fulfill my goals without losing my horizon.
Today, I am a more cheerful and confident person, I’m no longer scare of failures or Judgment; I am living based on my “here” and “now’. Notwithstanding of all the unexpressed feeling and struggles that we are experiencing in our group, it was very rewarding to see how Leslie opens up to us on week six. Yet, for any grown married woman giving out a pregnancy announcement should be a Joyful experience in her life, one may think? In Leslie shoes, it was not the case. She was scare of disappointing her parents with the news, which many of us did not understand.
However, seem how the group got together and cheerfully offered her objective and sensitive feedback on her conflict was very insightful. It proved that there is some type of cohesion within the group. Likewise, another insightful moment within the group was when Julienne opened up to the group and confronted her despair of not been able to speak or write English fluently as she would of like to. It was relieving to hear that someone in the group was sharing my frustration of not been able to keep up with my grammar.
Perhaps, it is hassle to think in Spanish and then writes in English; even worst, when one knows the context of what to say but is unable to verbalize it. Despite the fact, it was even more remarkable to discover that we were not the only ones sharing the frustration but many others; yet, learning that Leslie, Carla, Stephanie, and few others that have been born and raised in United States shares our despair was encouraging to me. Thus, this particular session really inspire me to seek help as to improve my grammar and academic work.
Moving on, one issues that really makes feel bad in class is my obsession with labeling my colleagues. Now whenever Aaron talks, I look at him as the one that offers Pseudopodia. He never says anything wrong to any body, neither confronts; he’s always giving constructive advices and feedbacks which is not helping. Yet, telling people all the time that everything is going to be k discourage them from exploring their emotions or conflicts. In the other hands, same is happening with John, to me he s always intellectualized.
He’s always blaming his gender condition and cultural beliefs as main reason no to let himself go deeper into his feeling. Perhaps, he used it as a defense mechanism to shield his emotions. Yet, no matter what goes on in the group he’s always acting stiff, detached, which really discourage one from sharing more. To finish, although the group has growing for better in terms of sharing, giving feedback and participating; however, it is not enough. I believe that it is stuck into the transition stage despite of all our learning. Perhaps, issues as of trust, acceptance, ND self-exploration still need to be improved.